Toucan play at that game

24th June 7:24 am Esdelle Street

The sun shines hard on my face. It's higher than the tree that must have been protecting me last time. Like someone's got their ball stuck up a tree but that ball's on fire and is the sun. The air is cool and the fly is back checking out my death feet. The yard is mid-change. Not in a changing seasons kind of way. More that we're halfway through sorting it out. Models of exotic birds, cacti and half constructed brick islands compete with tubs of mortar and discarded wees killer for our attention now. 

My 7:30 alarm breaks my concentration, that was when I thought I should / would wake up today. That could be my "sliding doors" moment today. Somewhere else, in a parallel universe maybe, I stayed in bed for that extra 20 minutes. I wonder what will happen to that me? He won't have done his grounding meditation and wouldn't have written this - although he may have written it from the angle. In other words writing about the me that is me now. 

Anyway back to this universe/existence. Had a vivid dream last night (Is that existence?), lots of ex girlfriends / crushes in the same place. I think it was a whole holiday park full (More Center Parcs than Haven - snobby subconscious!). Although it's weird, I started this paragraph with a clear idea of who and what I dreamed about but it's like my subconscious has put the barriers down. "No you are not writing that down, that is sensitive data that will get us both into trouble." I'll try to remember to go straight to dreams next time.

Talking to myself for 5 days in (Dry) January

I was making some space on my laptop the other day and I found this video on my desktop which I had genuinely forgotten about. As the title suggests it was me talking to myself for 5 days in January 2020 (little snippets not the whole time). You can definitely tell it's in the second half of my dry January challenge as I'm a bit more mad than normal (I think), I am under some kind of enforced lockdown to avoid the pub (before it was cool / necessary) and, less subtly, I also mention it several times.

I mean it's not the most interesting of video diaries and I don't really expect anyone to want to watch it but here it is, all 18 minutes of it :



 Also I seem to be looking into the future around the 5 minute mark by predicting the oncoming COVID apocylapse (Although I guess that it would have already been hitting the Wuhan fan by that point in January)



I wasn't just going mad, it was something I decided to do based on an activity from "The Artist's Way" (Which I was also doing in January) where you write a list of alternative (preferably "arty") careers and "have a go" at them for a few days in order to free up your artistic self. I decided on "film maker" so I made a film. Of sorts. I don't think the Cannes or Sundance festivals will be knocking my door down anytime soon.

What did I learn?

I'm slightly more boring than I think but
I'm slightly funnier than I think so
You can be boring and funny
I don't have much to say
I say I'm "mad", a "lunatic" or "mental" way too much
It's fun to make films but
Don't watch them back straight away, give them a few months first
I miss my beard

Will I do it again? 

Yes I think I will. Would be good (good might be pushing it - interesting?) to do a couple a year. In fact, now I think about it, lockdown is probably a good time to do another one. Yes, I'm going to do another one next week.